Sexual Child Abuse - Penn State Aftermath

No doubt like me; you are sickened by the Penn State child sexual assaults; as you were no doubt sickened by previous mass incidents of child sexual assaults by Priests, Clergy, Rabbis. The non-reporting and cover-up syndrome at Penn State is no different than clergy cover-up for sex offenders within the religious fabric of society.

While the media, professionals and collegiate officials debate how to handle the Penn State tragedy, including the systemic cover-up by university leaders, and others; like myself; you want the public to know how sexual abuse impacts children's lives.

You no doubt heard commentators make innate and blatantly calloused comments: 'What's done is done,' 'There's no one left to go after,' 'Why punish the students and the athletes by placing sanctions on Penn State?' Unlike the religious entities and Penn State University the damage quickly fades into the back ground; sexual abuse does not fade into the back ground.

It's time to heal those who bear the aftermath, and it is time for society to pull their heads out of the sand about sexual child abuse and sex offenders. In my book "If I'd Only Known... Sexual Abuse In Or Out Of The Family: A Guide To Prevention," I set-forth the details and the stark aftermath of sexual child abuse and how to prevent it in or out of the family. If these commentators, professionals, clergy or collegiate officials were the victims, or their children were, I know they would demand restitution and changes going forward so that a tragedy of this nature would be prevented.

Hearing the supporters of the university's football program nullify the damage is reminiscent of a society that is in denial about the full scope and magnitude of sexual child abuse aftermath. Penn State's board could do the noble gesture and make it easy for themselves by self-imposing the 'death penalty' option - temporarily shutting down the embattled football program.

As horrific as sexual child abuse is, left untreated by a protocol specifically focused on sexual child abuse recovery, rather than treating the symptomatic behaviors and physical maladies, the volume of lifelong negative consequences is worse than the initial assault. Children often hear the voice of their abuser in their minds-telling them they're bad, they're ugly, they're worthless, that no one would believe them, or no one would care or they wanted and/or liked the sexual assault-long after the abuse occurred and/or was reported. The emotional torture continues until the recovery process is in an advanced stage.

Without a recovery process specifically focused on sexual child abuse the lasting scars, include, but are not limited to:

• Difficulty managing emotions. One of the strongest signs of well-being is the ability to manage adversity, to keep emotions balanced. "For sexual abuse survivors, a lasting legacy is the opposite of well-being." Sexual abuse survivors usually have difficulty expressing feelings, which are then bottled up, often leading to sporadic periods of depression, anger and anxiety. Many survivors use excess alcohol and/or drugs to numb the pain.

• Feeling a core sense of worthlessness, dirty or damaged. The physical side of sexual abuse is one aspect, what haunts survivors is the voice of the abuser, constantly reinforcing a lack of personal value. As time passes the survivors mature into adults, who are unable to invent in themselves. With a deep sense of being damaged, they often feel incapable or unworthy of career success and higher-paying positions.

• Difficulty trusting relationships or people on any level is omnipresent. 80% of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by family members, 19% is perpetrated by people the child knows and trusts-- family friends, church leaders, teachers, sports coach, scout leaders, et al. U.S. Government statistics reveal 1% of children sexually abused are abused by a stranger. Children who can not feel secure within the family, the most fundamental relationships, develop deep and pervasive trust issues. Relationships are often doomed because the survivor trashes good relationships, fearing their partner will ultimately either control, hurt or abandon them as was the case with the trusted family-member perpetrator. More often than not, survivors are drawn to an abusive person because they do not know what a healthy relationship feels like or entails.

When I hear the 'Yeah, but,' argument from people who are in denial and defend and thereby allow sexual child abuse to continue, whether it is the tragedy of Penn State, the Catholic Church, Judaism, Protestant or Mormon Church, my convictions that society needs to do more to raise awareness about sexual child abuse rises another octave. Society needs to raise awareness on how sex offenders are created; how sexual abuse offenses can be prevented; and enforcing the law, which requires professionals and persons in authority to report the abuse when the person first suspects there is reason to believe an adult is on the verge or already has sexually abused a child.

In the final analysis, we have a responsibility to protect our children so they can reach their greatest potential, free of adults who may exploit and alter that divine gift-potential.

No more denial. No more cover-ups. No more excuses or reasons for any child being sexually abused by someone who has authority or responsibility for the child's well-being.

Dr. Neddermeyer has developed and facilitates workshops on preventing sexual child abuse, identifying would-be sex offenders and the signs of sexual abuse. http://drdorothy.info/?page_id=9

Dorothy M Neddermeyer, PhD has studied human health and well-being for decades, earning a Masters in Clinical Social Work and a Doctorate in Metaphysics. In 1994, she founded Genesis Consultants, Inc. a personal and professional consulting firm. She facilitates Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Transformation (EPST) a highly effective protocol to Transform the root cause of all issues and symptoms. EPST is direct, focused and combines creating health while transforming the past. She is a keynote speaker and offers programs for schools, organizations and in corporate settings. http://drdorothy.net/

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Child Sex Trafficking in America - Modern Day Slavery

The nonprofit organization: For the Sake of One (FSO) and several other groups are focused upon the issue of child sex trafficking in the United States.

An estimated 300,000 American children are lured in the sex trafficking trade each year. Their average age being 13 years old, with a life expectancy of only 7 more years.

The Trafficking Victims Protection Act recognizes sex traffickers use psychological and well as physical coercion and bondage. It defines coercion to include: threats of serious harm to or physical restraint against any person; any scheme, plan, or pattern intended to cause a person to believe that failure to perform a sex act would result in serious harm to or physical restraint against any person; or the abuse or threatened abuse of the legal process.

There are a multitude of ways traffickers lure children away, but once they have them, these victims often go through a process of seasoning which includes:

•Beating/Slapping/Whipping - With hands, fists, and kicking, as well as with objects such as bats, tools, chains, belts, hangers, canes, and cords

•Burning - Of personal items and items of meaning to foster hopelessness and demoralization or directly burning children using cigarette/cigar butts

•Sexual assault - Rape or gang rape

•Confinement - Using torture practices such as confinement to lock women and girls in closets, trunks of cars, or rooms for indeterminate amounts of time.

•Other torture techniques - Such as deprivation of food or water or various forms of bondage such as chaining individuals to items or tying them up.

•Emotional abuse - Direct verbal insults, name-calling, threats, mind control, brainwashing, cognitive re-programming

•Re-naming - Offering "nicknames" both for endearment and to erase former identity

•Creating dependencies - By instructing how to walk, how to talk, what to wear, when to eat, when to sleep, and where to sleep.

•Removal from familiarity and support structures - By transporting the victims to a new location or even underground where they knows no one/

Victims of sex trafficking are submitted to numerous health risks. Physical risks include drug and alcohol addiction; physical injuries (broken bones, concussions, burns, vaginal/anal tearing); traumatic brain injury (TBI) resulting in memory loss, dizziness, headaches, numbness; sexually transmitted diseases (e.g., HIV/AIDS, gonorrhea, syphilis, UTIs, pubic lice); sterility, miscarriages, menstrual problems; other diseases (e.g., TB, hepatitis, malaria, pneumonia); and forced or coerced abortions. These victims are typically "used" or sold 5 to 30 times per day.

Psychological impairments include mind/body separation/disassociated ego states, shame, grief, fear, distrust, hatred of men, self-hatred, suicide, and suicidal thoughts. Victims are at risk for Post-traumatic Stress Disorder - acute anxiety, depression, insomnia, physical hyper-alertness, self-loathing that is long-lasting and resistant to change (complex-Post-traumatic Stress Disorder). Victims of sex trafficking may also suffer from traumatic bonding - a form of coercive manipulation in which the sex trafficker infuses in the victim fear as well as gratitude for actually being allowed to live.

Victims of sex trafficking are forced into prostitution and pornography and are usually involved in the most exploited forms of commercial sex operations. Sex trafficking operations can be found in highly-visible venues such as street prostitution, as well as more underground systems such as closed brothels that operate out of residential homes. Sex trafficking also takes place in a variety of public and private locations such as massage parlors, spas, strip clubs and other fronts for prostitution.

FSO's foundational belief is a single life transformed is worth whatever the price. Numbers are numbing and statistics are demoralizing. Without a name or face these children become too easy to ignore, but if we break the numbers down to represent our ability to transform one life then we truly make a lasting difference.

FSO believes all children are a gift from God and each has been created with a unique purpose. With love and service, we know these children can succeed and lead productive lives. Sex trafficking is a global concern and we applaud the organizations who's focus is to aid all children. Although we are painfully aware of the global problem, there is also a substantial and immediate need in America for services and supportive housing. By no means do we seek to diminish the need for a global response; however, our primary focus is the child victim found within the boarders of the United States.

FSO reaches out to girls and boys ages 11-17 who have been victims of domestic sex trafficking to ignite, confidence, courage and inner strength within them as we provide the love, protection and guidance these children so desperately need and deserve in order to heal from the injustice and unspeakable abuse they have endured.

PROBLEM

At the beginning of 2012 - less than 100 beds were dedicated to child victims of sex trafficking in the United States. Each bed currently has a waiting list, and there are yet no homes dedicated to helping boys recover.

Due to the lack of safe houses, these children often go into juvenile detention centers where the belief is again reinforced the children themselves are somehow responsible for their situation. With such limited comprehensive services available for sex trafficking victims most of these children have no where to go and consequently are released often to return to the very hands of their traffickers.

SOLUTION

For the Sake of One's primary purpose is the establishment of Isaiah's House - child sex trafficking safe homes located in the United States. A place of healing where children who have been victimized can receive the love and specialized services they desperately need and deserve.

Isaiah's House will be open to all children, both girls and boys, ages 11 to 17. Isaiah's House is a long term care facility, not a shelter. Each child will be provided love, medical services, extensive counseling, schooling and life skills to prepare their paths for a much brighter tomorrow.

Counseling

At Isaiah's House all share the common tragedy of sex trafficking and in an atmosphere of healing, each child will be provided one on one and group therapy by loving and licensed child counselors.

Education

Most child victims of sex trafficking will need much help to complete their education. Isaiah's house will have an on-site school with dedicated teachers using individually tailored study plans. We believe each child must have both goals and abilities when they leave Isaish's House. Be it college or life skills - our goal is to provide the skill sets required for these children to become self sufficient.

Mentoring

Upon arrival most victims of child sex trafficking will trust no one but themselves. Our mentoring program will rebuild trust and self esteem while cultivating new social skills within healthy love-based relationships.

We Need Your Support

We do not take any government funding and we do not charge for any of our programs. The cost to provide these services is great; however, the value of one transformed life is priceless. Please consider sowing financial seeds into these children's lives.

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April Is National Child Abuse Prevention Month

Every day in America more than 5 children die from child abuse and neglect, 80% of those children are under the age of 4. Sadly, that number is growing, 15 years ago it was 3 children a day. What's worse is that it's actually 3 times more kids than that because this statistic doesn't account for all of the cases that go unrecorded. It's also estimated that there are three times more incidents of child abuse than the 3.3 million cases reported each year.

There are many organizations that are working hard to prevent child abuse, help children and bring awareness to the devastating problem. Since 1959 Child Help has been dedicated to preventing child abuse and neglect and helping its victims. Child Welfare Information Gateway promotes safety and welfare of children and families by connecting them with proper resources and tools. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children provides necessary resources and information to parents, victims and law enforcement. PROTECT is a national association providing political strength and leadership for the protection of abused, exploited, and neglected children. Your time or financial assistance will be put to good use with any of these organizations.

Help Spread This is raising awareness by encouraging those on Twitter to donate 1 tweet a day in an effort to stop child abuse. Another easy way to help is visiting Click to Give, ad money raised will go to Child Help.

Writing this article was not easy. The stories I read about innocent children who need love and nurturing but get instead get brutalized moved me to tears. In doing the research I discovered some sobering facts: Approximately 60% of child fatalities that are caused by mistreatment are not listed as such on their death certificates. Children who experience child abuse & neglect are 59% more likely to be arrested as a juvenile, 28% more likely to be arrested as an adult, and 30% more likely to commit violent crime. About 80% of 21 year olds that were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder. Up to two-thirds of people being treated for drug abuse report being neglected or abused when they were children. More than 90% of victims are acquainted with their abuser in some way. The vicious cycle of abuse continues as about 30% of those abused and neglected will go on to abuse their own children.

It is estimated that there are three times more incidents of child abuse than the 3.3 million cases reported each year. There are many organizations that are working hard to help children and bring awareness. National Child Abuse Hotline: 1.800.4.A.Child (1.800.422.4453).

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